A Divorce as the End of Marriage

A big moment which is waited by everyone is marriage because this moment brings many changes in our life, especially the change of eminence and position; involving the change of right and obligation. That is why; it is not surprising when a girl gets married; commotion, apprehension, and happiness mix become one since the end of marriage is not always pleasant. When people get married, they will be like sailors, sometimes they will like collide with a great wave. If they are not as rigid as an atoll, their marriages will end with a bitter divorce.

Rustika Thamrin, a staff of the instructor in the Psychology Faculty of Indonesian University, said that the reason why people getting divorce is a dissimilarity, such as dissimilarity in habit, attitude, character, custom, and so on. In addition, the inferences of other people also could be the cause, for instance family or “PIL” (Pria Idaman Lain) and “WIL” (Wanita Idaman Lain).

Moreover, Dr. Nasir bin Sulaiman al Umar in his book “Sendi-sendi Kebahagiaan Suami Istri” adds the reasons why divorce happens, like the lack of the comprehension of the right and obligation between the husband and the wife; incapability to act realistically in solving the problem, the lack of comprehension toward other’s psychology, the negligence the child, incapability to act proportionally, etc.

In my opinion, as a mature human, they should try to minimalise the divorce. Actually, the solution is simple, ie. only communication and patience, but, perhaps, it is hard for them to realize it. It needs a consciousness to be better and an intention to save the marriage. They should have thought that the most common victim is their children. Their psychological may be unstable. Also, they should have thought about cultural problem that would emerge. Especially to woman, being a widow is a scandal and would be a topic of gossip. On the other hand, if it is really hard for them to find a good decision and must get divorce; they have to communicate it first so that the children and the family understand. Also, they have to take care of themselves, build a good relationship with others so there is no bad opinion that could insult their life.

Source: Ummi, Sept-Oct 2003

 

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